Fr. Simon's Letter - March 30, 2025

The parable of the Prodigal Son is likely one of the most quoted and most versatile of all the stories in the Gospels. This is so because at various times in our lives it is easy to identify with one or all of these characters. Of course, our motives for identifying with them can be mixed, such as when we prefer to put ourselves in the shoes of the generous father. He has been deeply wronged, and his youngest son has been a keen disappointment. We’ve all been there. And there is more than a hint of disappointment to be found in the eldest son, who complains that he has not received proper recognition from the father. We’ve all been the aggrieved elder brother; haven’t there been times when we’ve preferred to wallow in our grief and refuse to turn the page and move on?

We’ve also been in the shoes of the penitential son, who returns with his hat in hand from a wasted life, hoping to begin all over again. If the truth be told, most of us have a hard time imagining ourselves doing horrible things to our loved ones for which we need to repent. 

Lent offers us an opportunity to repent and be reconciled to God and to one another. We are all part of a world where everything else is an old tape repeating itself endlessly over and over again. There is normally only one song that gets sung: betrayal-hurt-resentment-non-forgiveness. That pattern never changes for all of humanity. There is an unbroken chain of unforgiven resentment and anger stretching back to Adam and Eve. We are all part of that chain. Everyone is wounded, and everyone wounds. Everyone sins, and everyone is sinned against. Everyone needs to forgive, and everyone needs to be forgiven. Without forgiveness, there is resentment or guilt. Instead of human fellowship, there is only isolation.

The world of Jesus contains one thing that is truly novel – forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only thing that is new, the only thing that can break the chain, and it is the message of the resurrection.

Here are some thoughts I wrote down years ago. I don’t remember if it was a talk or something I read, but it could help us on the way to forgiveness.

We have a choice. We can stay where we are, alone with our resentment or guilt, or we can give or ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a decision. It is not a feeling. The decision to forgive is a first step.
Forgiveness is showing mercy, even when the injury has been deliberate. The challenge is not in forgiving when there is an excuse for what was done, but in forgiving when there is none.
Forgiveness is accepting the person as-is. It is letting go of judgments. People can begin to deepen relationships if they forgive each other — continually — for not being equal to their expectations.
Forgiveness is taking a risk. It is making myself vulnerable. To renew my commitment to someone who betrayed my trust is to trust myself to handle being hurt again.
Forgiveness is a way of living. It is developing a readiness to forgive, by pardoning others for the little daily hurts and annoyances, and by pardoning ourselves for small things, too.
Forgiveness is choosing to love. Forgiveness is the first skill of self-giving love. It takes the hurts, acknowledges the problem, accepts the person and loves in the direction of resolving the situation.
Forgiveness is not conditional. It is not sentimental, not condescending, not righteous; true forgiveness is unconditional.
Sometimes we still have questions and doubts:

What if the other person refuses to accept my forgiveness? People don’t often realize they have hurt others. Forgive them anyway. It will set you free.
What if that person is undeserving of forgiveness? No one deserves to be forgiven. It is a gift we receive and it is a gift we extend to others.
My sins are too many and abominable to be forgiven. Let us not limit the power of God’s mercy. It is greater and more powerful than all our sin.
How often should I forgive? Do I need to answer that?

I hope that as you listen to the parable this weekend, and make a choice to be reconciled to God and to one another, your Lenten journey will truly be a time of grace. Remember that confessions are heard on Monday evenings of Lent from 7pm to 8pm, and on every Saturday morning following the 8am Mass.

Blessings!

- Fr. Simon