We have just celebrated the beautiful feast of Christmas. For many, Christmas is a time to gather as family. Hopefully it is always a joyful time together, although for some it might remind them of various flaws or struggles that they are working with and through as a family. Every year, on this first Sunday after Christmas, we honor the Holy Family in a special way. While the Scriptures are, for the most part, silent about the quiet life that Jesus, Mary and Joseph lived in that little house of Nazareth before Jesus’ public ministry, it is fairly easy to imagine what that life was like. Many of the saints reflect that the family life of the Holy Family would have consisted of the same things that would also be part of ours: Joseph working in the shop perhaps dealing with irate people in the midst of the day or customers who were unable to or refused to pay him for his work; Mary doing the washing and the cooking; the Lord working at various chores around the house, waiting at the table and clearing the dishes; and all of them gathering together in the evening.
It is also easy to imagine how this Family of all families must have prayed together. Recently, a parishioner shared with me an article about what can be done to strengthen our families, which noted that statistics demonstrated that praying together was something which strengthened families in a significant way. Certainly, coming to Church as a family is important, but also praying together in the home. For many families, with all the different directions they are pulled by various activities, this can sometimes be a struggle. I’ve seen this with some of my siblings and their families. Yet during my visits, I always enjoy being part of the practice of kneeling down and saying our prayers together with my nieces and nephews before they head off to bed. Praying with one another and for one another is certainly something that strengthens the family bonds. If you’re of a certain age, you’re probably familiar with Fr. Patrick Peyton, who was fond of saying, “the family that prays together, stays together.”
It is easy to imagine the Holy Family gathered around their table in the quiet of the evening as the sun begins to set, having the evening meal together. Many of us aspire to have such evenings with our own families. From a purely secular point of view, some years ago, there was a study done which compared adolescents who eat dinner with their family zero to two times a week as opposed to five to seven times a week – the results were interesting. Those who ate dinner more frequently with their family had better academic performance by thirty eight percent, and were forty percent more likely to discuss with their parents a problem they were facing. A staggering percentage were less likely to use things and engage in things that would be harmful to their health. Just sitting down together to a meal can help strengthen those familial bonds.
Even as we look at the similarities, one thing that we might argue the Holy Family didn’t face in their time, but which we certainly face today, is the use of technology. While in many ways technology can be such a blessing, it can also have the opposite effect. Many people today are consumed by technology. In contrast, one family I visited sought to strengthen the bonds of their family life by limiting the use of technology. Most of the children of a certain age in that family had a cell phone but when they entered their home, the phones were to be left on the kitchen counter so that the temptation wouldn’t be there to live their life at home on their phone. Another thing that I find interesting is speaking to the young people returning from a retreat experience in high school, and most of them express what a wonderful experience it was – and part of that experience is to leave technology aside.
Perhaps you’re in the midst of raising your family, or maybe those are days gone by and now you can only encourage your children and grandchildren as they raise their families. Or maybe we don’t have much of a family to speak of, yet still we belong to the large family of the Church and the even larger family of the human race. This Sunday is always set aside for us to thank God for the gift of family, to look for ways to strengthen our families, and ultimately to look to that Holy Family to be our inspiration and guide.